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Saturday, July 22, 2017

I Need Your Help... + A Blog on Bullying

I have blogged in the past, I have sat down and wrote little things here and there, but one thing I have NEVER done is keep up with it. I have been awful about blogging in the past. This time around I am planning, working out the fine details and also asking for your help! I currently am working on a list of things to blog about. My focus is on teens, but can range from anything in my daily life such as arts and crafts, crazy stories and dealing with teen life.



 My list is as such:



  1. Bullying
  2. Suicide
  3. Pornography
  4. Sex
  5. Violence
  6. Addiction
  7. Mental Health
  8. ...
What I am asking for is if there are other issues that you would like to see on here, please leave a comment or email me. Also I would like to feature guest stories and guest bloggers who would like to get something off of their chest that is near and dear to their heart. If you would be interested in this, you may contact me as well!

As time goes on, you will see that I have dealt with a few of these things myself while rearing my children.

Having that child come home crying because they have been bullied is no fun thing to deal with. It is heart breaking for both of you, and you just want to be able to put yourself in your child's shoes. While you might not be able to do just that, remember you are their source of comfort. When they come home and are lashing out at you, they do not hate you, you are their safe person. They can scream and yell, everything they have had to hold in during the school day, now comes tumbling out at home. It sucks. I know!

The #1 thing I have had to learn to do is be patient! 
Listen to them (even if you can not understand a word they are saying because the words are tumbling out and tripping over themselves.).

#2 Do not interrupt. Seriously! I know you want to interject with your opinion, but in my experience, it makes the situation worse. Your child wants to be heard. If they feel like you want to talk the whole time, then they feel like you are really not hearing what they have to say.

 #3 goes along with #2; Only talk after they are finished. I know, you want all the answers, but to be honest, there are so many answers and none of them are either right or wrong.

My oldest was taken off the bus by 3 police men because she beat up her bully... What do you say to that? I had been down all the right avenues; I had talked to the principal to see what could be done, I talked to my daughter to get details, cameras from the school and bus were pulled. There never was any firm evidence besides seeing her talk to my daughter. She was using her words to hurt, and words hurt worse sometimes that an actual beating. In the end it was my daughter who was punished and not her bully. Did my daughter deserve to be punished? That is still a question I do not know the answer to and struggle with. They put her on a behavior bus for the rest of the school year. Next year she will be back on her regular bus, but she is terrified the girl will be at it again, as am I. Everyone was shocked to say the least. She does not act like this, she is an A/B student, who in the past has been non-confrontational. Now, I am terrified for her, and as the saying goes, 'The bullied become the bullies.' I do not want that for my daughter.

Do you have any stories or advice? Leave your comments! The one rule for my blog is NO MOM SHAMING! I do not mind an intelligent conversation, but please, if you do not have anything nice to say... Say it with me... DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!



While you are at it, check out this book for teens dealing with bullying and cyber bullying. Every teen needs to know that ins and outs, so they know what steps to take and how to handle situations.
(Yes, this is an affiliate link, yes, I will earn a little money.)

6 comments:

  1. Bullying is a scary situation especially when you are a parent. Staying in a place where your children will talk to you! Do not let them push you away!!

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    1. It really is. She tries very hard to push me away and play the 'bad ass', but when it comes down to it, I know she loves me, I know she needs me and I keep telling myself it will be over one day. She just has to learn to cope. Her therapist said she has to be sad before she can change any thing. She is always so angry and it started right after the fight on the bus. Makes me sad.

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  2. Bullying is such a scary thing to deal with as the victim and as the parents. I was bullied in middle school and when the bully physically attacked me, I was called to the principal's office as well. Now that I am a parent, I can't imagine how difficult it was for my parents to not be able to help me. Listening to your kids is crucial, and I am so grateful that my parents were there for me.

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    1. It is very scary, this is only one story; actually the last thing that happened to her before she got out of school for the summer. She had never gotten physical before, she just dealt with it and then got so angry. I have learned listening is key.

      I asked her therapist "What do I say when I am listening and she asks me what I have to say?" (this happens frequently.) She gets mad if I don't have the right words. He told me to tell her just that... "I dont have anything that I can say, but I am here to listen." Just letting her know that I am listening is letting her see that I care.

      I was going to make this blog into a crazy mom blog and it is turning out to focus on the more serious issues. The more I write (working on postdating blogs now) the more I realize how little there is out there that are mom's talking about the issues their teens have. Bullying is a big one, but not the more obscure things. I want to do that, because if someone will speak up, other moms will see they are not alone!

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  3. Bullying is a tough subject, but a good one to tackle. Good luck beginning your blogging journey again!

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  4. Bullying is one thing parents are scared for their kids. I always been a good listener whenever my siblings and son talks about someone who bullied them. I see to it that they will be ok.

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